A journalist with ITV News in Northern Ireland recently covered Are We Dating the Same Guy groups. It’s one of the few times a journalist has done the work of joining the groups to see what actually goes on, and interviewing men to hear their stories.
From the story, which you can read and view here:
“A man has told UTV he was driven to suicide – which left him clinically dead for three minutes due to a Facebook group that names and shames their dates
A group of men have came forward to open up about their mental anguish after featuring in the group, many of whom say they have been unfairly maligned
Men UTV has talked to, have said their experience of being featured on the group has left them traumatized
Some have been abused, had malicious false claims made of them and one who lost his job attempted suicide
Speaking anonymously, men who had been featured in the group told us that: “It had a massive impact on my mental health where it got that bad, that in December I had considered taking my own life.”
(Comment from user on R/AfterAWDTSG where this video was found)
“More than finding out about being posted, even more than finding out how many people saw it, the most traumatizing part of all of this has been the feeling of helplessness. Being unable to defend yourself, unable to get the posts removed, unable to show your proof… Every day it’s there. Every day you wonder who has seen it. It never leaves the back of your mind for very long. “They looked at me strange. I wonder if they know“… or “I wonder how many women I work with saw it.” It just sits there in front of 50-thousand people and there is NOTHING you can do about it.
Any time you try to explain how mentally draining it is, how the chronic fear, shame and anxiety destroys your mental health day after day… Nobody cares. People assume you did something to deserve it. Women, imagine someone hurting you and when you tell others they say “you probably did something to deserve it“. Sound familiar?” Imagine being slut-shamed on a billboard in your city where where 30, 40, 50 thousand or more people drive by on their way to work. THAT is how it feels.
End AWDTSG 