Ladies, what would you do if the guy you just matched with started reaching out to your exes on Facebook, asking for dirt about you?
How would you feel if they had their conversation in front of half the guys in your workplace, as well as a few neighbors and one of your girlfriends husbands (who then tells the others about it)? What if you were accused of being a “cheating slut” or that you had an STD, or were just plain crazy and abusive? What if they knew what your private parts look like, how many dates it takes to get you in the sack, or even your body count? Is it their business, even in the unlikely event that its all true?
It would be pretty creepy, right?
These “Are We Dating the Same Guy” groups have grown to include the majority of dating women in most major cities. Ostensibly created to catch cheaters (as the name implies), they are also sometimes used to belittle, lie about and punish men who have no way to defend themselves or show proof of their innocence.
Ladies, how would you feel if you went into the office tomorrow and all of the guys were smirking and whispering when you walked by? Every guy you matched with suddenly and inexplicably ghosted you? This goes on for a month before you find out why. All of those guys you work with read the post where your ex-boyfriend called you names, slut shamed you, and told 50-thousand total strangers every intimate detail about your life while blaming everything bad that happened in the relationship on you. Even though he was the crazy one, he made it sound like you were a total lunatic. To top it off, you “might” be guilty of sex crimes (just sayin’). How would you feel knowing all of those guys at work read this stuff, and believed it.
Would it make everything OK if I told you that your humiliation and the ruining of your reputation was “worth it” because it also kept some random guy from getting cheated on by a woman you don’t know? Would that end justify the fact that you have to hang your head in shame every time you go into work, or wonder if the guy checking you out at the grocery store is doing so because he thinks you’re cute, or because he read that you’re a dirty slut? Yea, it’s messed up, right? Welcome to our world. The end no longer seems to justify the means when you’re the means.
The following comments were posted under the man’s name and photo. With 100k AWDTSG members in his city, it’s almost certain that some of his coworkers and neighbors read that he “has problems in the bedroom” and “a small penis” and “some fetishes as well”. Yet the man was no danger. He didn’t cheat on or abuse anyone. Can you imagine if it was you? And this is pretty tame compared to some of the stuff that gets posted about men. Is this keeping anyone “safe”?
When I found out I was posted, and what was said, I wanted to crawl into a hole and DIE of humiliation. I never cheated. I never lied. I never abused anyone. I simply broke up with someone who couldn’t take rejection. No other woman said anything about me. Just her. What she said was SO personal, so bad… and almost entirely untrue. Over 40 THOUSAND women had the opportunity to see these things. My neighbors, coworkers, family members… Everyone could see it. This event had devastating effects on my mental health, which you can read more about here.
We do not consent.
Women do not have our permission to post our names and photos in front of tens-of-thousands of strangers on the internet. This is putting us in danger! You are being hypocrites! Complete strangers have no business knowing these things about us.
“She did it just to get revenge for breaking up with her. The worst part is it worked. I can’t sleep. I can’t focus at work. All I think about is how many women read her lies and now think I’m the person she described.” ~/r/AWDTSGisToxic/
Rejection Rage
How DARE he reject me!
Rejection rage is the reason for most of the worst posts about men. You will often find that HE was the one to end things, leave, unmatch, block… Men don’t typically block women for no reason. Women now believe he has STDs and a narcissistic love bomber. What’s his side of the story?
Women do need to be protected from dangerous men, but two wrongs do not make a right, and most of the posts in these groups have nothing to do with abusers and rapists. Most of them are innocuous, but they’re still creepy. Do you know how icky it feels to find out that a woman you’ve been chatting to has posted your name and picture online, often with commentary about your personality and the date you went on… in front of tens-of-thousands of strangers on the internet? And that you’re not allowed to see it? Even the least toxic AWDTSG groups are still creepy, unfair, privacy and boundary violating, and unethical. You wouldn’t like if it happened to you so why are you doing it to us?
In today’s news, Florida Woman created and shared a database of men she says are into pegging.
Others soon began commenting, publicly outing and kink-shaming the men in front of thousands with impunity. Why is it being tolerated?
Is this even legal?
These examples will show how AWDTSG groups, which were meant to “protect women,” are full of toxic and abusive behavior.
This is hurting the lives of decent men in very real ways. It is harming their mental health and destroying their chances to find lasting love and life partners. These posts stay up forever. Males make up 50% of the population and 80% of suicide deaths. We are not ok, and this isn’t helping.
Most of us weren’t even accused of abusing or cheating in the posts that have destroyed our dating lives, and put a chronic strain on our mental health. We were just made out to be something we aren’t. Something beyond the worst versions of ourselves, in a fantasy world where everything is our fault, and the people we date are perfect little victims. What a convenient “safe space” women have made for themselves. Safe from any responsibility or accountability whatsoever.
“I’d rather she just post actual revenge porn. It may be without my consent, but at least it would be something I really did.” ~/r/AWDTSGisToxic/
What we want:
Believe it or not, not all women are telling the truth about the men they post. At best, it’s a highly-biased story that makes the posters look like innocent victims and men look ten times worse than they are in reality. Every story has two sides. By banning one side from being told, AWDTSG groups have emboldened bad actors who use it as a weapon against men who have rejected them. Maybe we can compromise.
Approximately 0.5% of the United States population, or one 1 in 200 people, has narcissistic personality disorder.
On AWDTSG it’s closer to 75% of all men and 0% of women.
But we’re not the ones reaching out to your exes on Facebook.
Because that would be a huge red flag, right?
You can play AWDTSG Bingo with the next screenshot. She’s got all the classics: Narcissist, cheater, sex addict, liar, STD, needs severe help… Do you think maybe she’s just a “little bit” biased? What are the odds all of these things are true? What are the odds women will believe they are?
Leave dating apps
Until they disable screenshots or AWDTSG groups are removed from Facebook.
“I am done with dating apps. That era is over for me, and many other guys. If I don’t meet someone IRL I guess I’ll just be alone, but at least I won’t be living in fear.” ~/r/AWDTSGisToxic/
How does the conversation below “protect women”? How is this person “a danger”? Yet he is publicly shamed, and possibly outed to his family, without his knowledge, consent or participation. Can you imagine what this person felt when he found out?
“I’ve become more depressed, anxious, a weirder version of myself. I don’t feel safe, I don’t trust people, and I don’t sleep that well. I believe that my exes goal was to limit the future partners I might have under the guise of solidarity and protecting women, with the true intent being to simply make my life smaller and lonelier, which it has.” ~/r/AWDTSGisToxic/
When posting screenshots
- Include the group’s city.
- Always blur the man’s face and name.
- Tell us your side of the story if the post was about you.
- Include the URL to the FB post itself
“If you gain access to these groups, I’m begging you, don’t read the comments. Periodically check to see if anyone has slandered you, and that’s it. You’ll read some of the most unbelievably judgmental and ugly things said about men that probably don’t even deserve it.” ~/r/AWDTSGisToxic/
Please leave AWDTSG groups
Even if you don’t post, but are just there “for entertainment,” or to see if anyone you know gets posted, you are contributing to the problem. You are the audience.
See what’s happening in these groups
All men are garbage. That’s the lesson women are drilling into their minds in the same way an incel starts out in men’s rights group and ends up in hate-groups. It is the same dynamic that has made AWDTSG groups turn toxic and abusive. AWDTSG groups are destroying everyone’s prospects of finding love and companionship. It is poisoning women’s minds and ruining good men’s lives. They are normalizing creepy behavior and violations of privacy in a very dangerous way that will not make women safer.
End AWDTSG 